Saturday, 24 September 2011

I'm a romantic.

I hate cheesy love songs, I scoff at couples who declare their love for one another with little hearts and kisses on Facebook, and if I see two people being overly affectionate in public, I will always shout: "get a room!"

But I like hearing stories about how couples first met, I love the private jokes two people can share, and I adore receiving little love notes and messages.

I know I don't look it, or act like it, but I've always been the kind of girl who wouldn't object to being totally swept off her feet.

The past two nights at uni, I've gone out with some friends. We checked out the city nightlife one night, then went to the "Back to School" Freshers Party the next. I had a really great time, and I even met a few lovely guys... Two guys gave me their number (I'm always cautious about giving mine to anyone), and made me promise to call or text them. That was a new experience for me - I've never done the "meeting people in bars" thing. It was perfectly innocent, but my roommates are giving me hell about it. I have five people living with me in my student house, and they are all in serious relationships. I'm "the single one". So they all tease me relentlessly whenever I dance, flirt or even just chat with a guy on campus. It was funny at first, but now I kind of resent them for it. In fact, I'm almost hoping that their relationships don't last, just so they won't pick on me any more.

One pet hate of mine is drunken kissing. At the Freshers Party, as the night progressed, the amount of kissing going on was ridiculous, almost obscene. I will happily chat to someone at a party, give them my number, etc. but I will never kiss them. I just feel like it takes all the romance away. Your first kiss with someone should be exciting, highly anticipated and just sweet. Surely that's better than smashing your face against someone in a club while the music is blaring all around you, just tasting a mixture of alcohol, sweat and poor judgement, and not really feeling... Anything.

I went to see 'Friends With Benefits' earlier this week with one of my best guy friends (he claimed he was "insinuating something"), and while I laughed almost the whole way through, I also thought there was a really important message buried within this seemingly harmless, fluffy and downright silly film. Sure, you can have a "friend with benefits", you can have "something casual"... But it can never stay that way. Someone will always want something more, and someone will always get hurt.

Justin and Mila, oh so naive.

Right now, at this point in my life, I feel like a "friend with benefits" is exactly what I need. I don't want to get bogged down in a full-on relationship just yet; in fact, for a really long time now I've been convinced that I will never want a major relationship ever again. I said to my friends the other night: "I don't want another boyfriend, because I don't want another ex-boyfriend."
And I stand by those words. I only have one ex-boyfriend, and after everything that I've gone through in the eight months since he became my ex-boyfriend, I just don't think I could handle having another one.

But at the same time I want someone to make me smile when I wake up, tell me I'm beautiful and surprise me every day. I want someone to be romantic with. x

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