Sunday, 23 October 2011

You and your rules.

A while back I said (and tweeted): "the rules are different at uni." This could not be more true. In the four weeks that I've been here, I've learnt so many things... And I don't mean on my course.
I've learnt that since I don't have a TV, YouTube is my new best friend; that you must always wear some form of shoes when using the toilet in 'shared facilities' accommodation, and that I can eat a whole packet of chocolate Bourbons in less than an hour.
I've also learnt that your housemates won't always be nice people, that "being casual" with someone you really like doesn't work, and that sometimes the best thing you can do is pretend everything is fine.
My new bedtime is "any time after 3am", and my average weekend lie-in lasts until 2pm. Drinking is no longer a fun weekly option, it's a mandatory nightly activity. A lovely home and loving family to go back and visit on a weekend isn't a right, it's a privilege.
The rules are indeed very different at uni. Trust me, you leave with so much more than a degree. x

PS: I started a perverted little competition on my Twitter last night at 2am (it was a product of severe overtiredness and boredom) to see if anyone could guess which person in this photo I have slept with. I would delete the tweet that started it, but I got some pretty funny responses. Hint: it's not the girl with the red tie (disappointing, I know). x

Wednesday, 19 October 2011

Don't judge me by my past, I don't live there any more.

So the other night this guy, who I've taken a bit of a shine to, made a few harsh observations about my character... Luckily I'm not a girl who gets hurt easily, but I couldn't help but feel that the things he said were a little unfair, considering he's only known me for three weeks. Sure, we've spent a lot of time together over those three weeks, but I don't think he knows me well enough yet to be that honest with me.

Two girls can walk up to each other and say: "hey, slag", and "ewww, not you again!" and you instantly know they're the best of friends. I have a few relationships like that; it takes years to form that kind of closeness which warrants constantly insulting one another.

My very best friends, however, I greet with a "hey beautiful!" and a cheesy Baywatch-style run-up hug whenever I see them. We have our giggly light-hearted gossip sessions, but then we always end up having serious, in-depth heart-to-heart discussions about life, love, etc. I live for the days I spend just sitting in my best friend's bed eating chocolate, watching True Blood and talking about everything. She and I are also close enough that if I tell her something I've recently said or done (I can't really give a clean example at this point in time), she will give me her honest opinion on whether I said or did the right thing, and what I should do next. I always listen to her advice, and act on it. She could royally tell me off for something, and I'd totally understand and agree with her. That's not true for many other people in my life.

So when my friend turned to me the other night and said something so brutally honest about what he thought of me, I was pretty shocked and upset. I know people will form their own opinions of me, and I can't help that, but when they voice it so openly, after only knowing me a short while... I'm just not used to it.

He had a good point though. I was being a bit of a bitch that night. I was reading out some of the things a certain girl had written about me online, scoffing at her comments and making fun of her. What I was actually doing was hiding that fact that the things she was writing were deeply upsetting me, but he wasn't to know that. He was totally right to tell me off. However, he was not right to say: "you don't give a shit about other peoples' relationships."
Don't get me wrong, I can see why you'd think that. But I honestly do care about and respect other peoples' relationships; no matter how much I want someone, if they're unavailable and happy with someone else, I won't go out of my way to sabotage them and steal them away. If it's meant to be, it'll happen, and if it's someone special, I am happy to wait. I've been a lot of things; the other girl, the girl who wanted more, the broken-hearted girl, the girl with the worst timing... But the one thing I have always been, is the girl who waited. x

Wednesday, 12 October 2011

3 weeks in...

I've already had a lot of amazing nights at university...

...But last night was one of the best yet. I went up to London, had a lovely dinner and went to see the gorgeous Joshua Radin live in concert. This was the second time I've seen him live, and to be honest I didn't think he could get any better than the first time. I was so wrong. He was heartbreakingly beautiful. x

Saturday, 8 October 2011

5.

Hi, my name's Gracie. I don't like Spongebob Squarepants, my favourite form of shopping is ordering books online, I get through one packet of Bourbons a day, I have licked the Eiffel Tower, Joshua Radin follows me on Twitter, I hate my university housemates, I am in love with a guy who drunk dials me every night, I love confidence but hate arrogance, my mum is horrified at some of the latest photos of me on Facebook, I get serious Nutella cravings, I prefer Strictly Come Dancing to The X Factor, shots of Sambuca cured my Freshers' Flu, I never forgive and I never forget, I will only ever wear silver jewellery, my worst fear is being forgotten, I'm at university, and I'm learning a lot.

I do one of these posts every month. x

Friday, 7 October 2011

The back-up plan.

Let's see. There's the cheeky boy who led me on for months, only to tell me he was interested in someone else; the pretty boy who gave me his number on my first night out in the city and started seeing another girl the next day; there's my gorgeous friend who somehow neglected to tell me he had a girlfriend when he was kissing me at my birthday party (and also didn't let the fact that he was taken stop him from spending the night with me a few weeks later), who still calls me and assures me he's going to be with me someday soon; there's my soulmate who I'm always waiting for; even my lovely ex-boyfriend only decided he wanted to be with me after things didn't work out with another girl.
Well, maybe it's time I told all of you...

Monday, 3 October 2011

Leftover Love.™

The other day, I accidentally saw a photo of my ex-boyfriend. You know when you just stumble across something that you really don't want to see? This hardly ever used to happen; a few years ago you would only ever see a photo or something your ex once wrote to you in an old photo album or in a keepsake box... But nowadays, these marvellous social networking sites enable you to see everything, whether you like it or not. This is why I block people online. Since I blocked him, I've had no unpleasant surprises.
However, I brought a massive envelope of photos with me to university to cover my noticeboard in my new bedroom with memories, and I didn't realise there were old photos of him and I in there. So when I was going through the pictures of my friends and family, I found his cheeky face tucked in there - right next to my Goonish Grin face. We always used to joke about being "the most unphotogenic couple in the world"; we could never ever get a decent photo of the two of us together. So the only two decent photos we ever had together were, of course, printed off and saved in my special photos envelope.

I won't lie, it was a bit of a shock seeing his face. But instead of being horrified and instantly upset at the sight of it, and being overwhelmed with the memories it held, I was pleasantly surprised. I looked into his bluey green eyes and felt nothing but a soft reminder of happy memories, some of the best of my life. No spite, no jealousy, no pesky Leftover Love.

I'm so relieved. Maybe all I needed was time (although I hate loathe and detest that age-old expression: "just give it time"), or maybe it was finding someone else, or maybe it was leaving my little town and moving to an exciting new city, or maybe it was meeting new people who don't know anything about my past. Whatever the reason, I am over it all completely and I have nothing but a faint fondness and a soft spot in my heart for that boy that made my life an adventure for a year and a half. x

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