Wednesday, 21 December 2011

HRH, The Queen of Bad Timing.


Despite the many many times when I say "knowing my luck...", "just my luck" or a very sarcastic "lucky me!", I do know I am much more fortunate than most. A lot of good things happen to me, many of which I'm not sure I totally deserve. Anyway, I've realised my many more misfortunes have nothing to do with luck... It's all about timing.

I honestly have the worst timing of all the people I know, and indeed all the people I don't. I can never find that moment between food in the oven being under-cooked, and it being burnt. I only realise I want an item in a shop after they've sold the last one. I always seem to think I can start an assignment at 3am and have it finished by 9am. No matter how many diaries I buy and how many important appointments or casual meet-ups I write down, I never get into the habit of keeping good time... And I never ever learn from my many timing catastrophes over the years. 

Small, insignificant timing errors where cooking and shopping are concerned is something I can learn to live with; it is, of course, in the "realm of romance" (to quote Basil Brush) where my timing issues inflict the most damage.

Again, a few small frustrating things happen as a result of terrible timing: I bought a brand-new (very expensive and unbelievably extravagant) Ann Summers underwear set the day before my relationship ended, I passed my driving test a month after I stopped needing lifts to my boyfriend's house, and my ex was given a double bed not long after we broke up.

However, these minor yet infuriating inconveniences are nothing compared to my numerous well-intended romantic escapades and endeavours which failed simply due to poor timing. In late 2009, I realised I was madly in love with my best friend, and when I sat him down specifically to tell him this, he jumped in first and started telling me about this amazing girl he'd met and was falling head over heels for. Early 2011, I texted my ex-boyfriend one night telling him I missed him, and the next day his Facebook status changed to "in a relationship". Mid-2011, I asked a gorgeous boy for his phone number, and just as he opened his mouth to read it out to me, his equally gorgeous and devastatingly skinny girlfriend appeared and seized his arm possessively.

Right now, I'm hoping the end of 2011 will also mean the end of my terrible luck timing. I am expecting 2012 to give me a good sporting chance and break my lifelong streak of bad luck timing. Even if it means I have to stand in front of the oven staring at my food as it cooks. x

1 comment

  1. I LOVE THIS. Read it out and you have a few people in stitches at how unlucky you were with the Ann Summers sitch ;) only you, Gracie, only you xxx

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